What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
