I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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