windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
