we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize