it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize