hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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