yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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