So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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