at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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