Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
