We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
