Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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