once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
