Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
