I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
