Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize