I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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