maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Welp...herpes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
