ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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