Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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