I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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