I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
