i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fuck appropriateness.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
