It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
