i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
