i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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