He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
