At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
