his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
