The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
