I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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