ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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