How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
