He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
