Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
