Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
