what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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