he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
