All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
