Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
