First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
