Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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