Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
