then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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