I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
