You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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