just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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