3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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