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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize