And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
