A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
