The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
