Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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