I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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