She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
where does the pee come out of this thing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
