Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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